The emotional roller coaster spun out of control yesterday. It started with two lanes shut down on the main thoroughfare. People acting like angry mules in steel cages. It’s enough to make a person moody from the start. I wound around side streets and made it to work not too late to enjoy my usual morning at the office. Email check. Schedule check. Accept added meetings. Move conflicts. Touchbase with the boss. Fired. Hello, crappy day.

Another Reduction In Force. It’s my second RIF—not fired, but fired with benefits. One of the benefits is being eligible for rehire. Huh? If you wanted me to come back, you wouldn’t let me go. This isn’t a love song. The Police weren’t talking about yearning to return to the warm bosom of a corporation.

I’ll admit it’s been over a decade since my last RIF. I’m a bit rusty. What I know about this experience is some higher power (pick your own) wants me to try something new. The universe has forced me out one closing door into another adventure my entire life. I am stubborn and refuse to quit. Quitting is for losers. No, it’s that quitting is not in my DNA. Even if I am miserable, I power through. I will succeed, even though I am killing myself in the process. Some wacky wiring in my brain runs on a hard coded work loop.  Not the right thing to do, so outside forces help me along.

I get these “kicked in the butt” moments when I need change. I’m forced by whatever plans the universe has for me—if the universe does have a say. Doesn’t matter whether I have stellar reviews, glowing recommendations, and unbelievable work ethic. I am somehow forced into making a decision I didn’t want to make. Each time, I end up in a better place. I’m lucky, I guess. I don’t feel any luck now, but I will grab hold of those proverbial boot straps and get moving. Just not this very moment.

Right now, I’m going through all of the emotional processes. One of which I detest. The crying. I swear it’s my brain’s way of torturing me. I can try to stay busy. I can try to ignore it, but the tears find their way to the surface and take over. I don’t want to cry. I want to get some work done. I want to get the last day of my current job in order. I want to leave the position in good standing. I want to get a new job lined up right now. No chance. My emotions get to rule me this day.

The parts of the day following the bad news filled me with a bit of sunshine. I’ve learned how much so many of my associates care for me. My phone dinged at a steady pace as the news spread. A lot of WTF and OMG followed by exclamation points and emojis I can’t repeat online—some of which I didn’t know existed. Part of my job search will involve the research of said emojis and their origins. It’s convenient someone has gone to the trouble of creating these for life moments such as this.

At the end of it all, my crappy day turned out to be pretty wonderful. I’m starting on a new adventure with the knowledge I’ve made a difference to a lot of people. I’m well thought of and cared for by some amazing individuals. That’s enough to keep anyone going.