Every time I register for a race, I contemplate which category to choose. Do I go with my age group—a group in which I will never place? Or do I suck it up and choose Athena? That’s right, Athena, the ancient Greek Goddess of Wisdom, Warfare and Divine Intelligence. How does that translate into a category of women that weigh more than 150 pounds? Is it the warfare part? How do those women feel that weigh 155? Sucks to be them in the same category as me. I might have to use some of my Athena-like powers and kick their scrawny derriere.

I laugh at the Athena requirements. 150 pounds? Hah! That’s nothing. I can leg press almost three times that weight. I’m 5’10” tall, and I am not a model. No woman at my height and age needs to weigh less than 150. I don’t care what the doctors say. I think the medical chart for “small-frame” women my height shows 145 pounds as the lowest suggested weight. Have you stood close to a woman my height that weighs that? I have. I’ve been one of them. I’ve been lower than that. There are a few words that come to mind. Sickly. Cancerous. Bony. Pick your word. It’s not pretty when you’re up close to it.

I loom over the average woman and a lot of men it seems. I will never be under 150 lbs, and that’s a good thing. Only when you’re registering for an athletic activity is it pointed out to you that you are not “ideal.” So I will let them know that Athena describes only my attitude, not my size. Although I do bear a striking resemblance to the bronze statue at Piraeus.

When you think of marathon runners, you think of people who are slender and lithe. They have “runner’s calves.” You know, those incredibly skinny legs with a giant knot at the top of where their calves should be. They’re light on their feet and have too much nervous energy. On a 90-minute training run, they’ll get out there and do ten, eleven, even twelve miles.

Me? I’m doing six or seven miles with my pace group. And I will admit, I’m packing a Gu or some Chomps for when I get done with mile three. While the faster, lighter runners are dressed in light shorts and a tank top and sporting their fancy minimalist running shoes, I’m in my extra comfy, cushioned shoes and packed to the gills with sunscreen, Body Glide, Gu, Chomps and at least an extra twenty ounces of fluids. Let’s add all that weight to my already impressive demeanor. That’s a lot of extra pounds for any runner.

This is how I train. I’m out there logging the same times, the same long runs. I’m carrying myself, and all that extra weight, up hills and through speed work. I’m practicing my marathon pace. I’ve got a couple of marathons under my belt. Heck, I’ve done three sprint triathlons. I pace beginners, wounded runners and those just wanting to take it easy. We come in all sorts of heights and weights, so how does it come down to age vs. Athena? At least I don’t have to pick “Clydesdale” like the men’s category. What a pile of horse—.